God Talk and Tea

A small thank-you can make a big difference!

During my visit to North Carolina for my granddaughter’s third birthday I had the chance to sit in the upstairs gallery of the gymnastic studio and watch this petite
whirlwind and her classmates run, climb, tumble and spin their way to pure enjoyment.

At several points during the class, when the instructor had assisted my granddaughter in some way, I heard her adorable, three-year-old voice say, “Thank you.”

Her expressions were priceless, and memorable, especially in a culture that seems to have all but forgotten the value and meaning of gratitude.

I’m proud to say her cousins have learned the same graciousness. My sons and their wives are passing on something that was taught to them, and it is something that was certainly handed on to me by my parents, especially my mom.

I was raised during the time of Emily Post manners, which meant white gloves when you went shopping, dress-up for outings and cultivating the now lost art of the thank you note.

I lost the gloves in high school, and today a tasteful dress-down has replaced the dress-up for most outings, but what I learned is that manners, and particularly expressions of gratitude, are more than just trite social mores.

They are opportunities to express respect and appreciation of others, to build relationships, and to be reminded that we are not the center of anyone’s universe except our own.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that Emily Post’s great-great-grandson, Daniel Post Senning, is carrying on Emily’s legacy. He wrote, “Good manners are about more than fulfilling bare-minimum social obligations. They are an opportunity for us to connect to the people in our lives in a meaningful way. In an increasingly informal digital world, continuing to pull out pen and paper is a way to distinguish yourself. The handwritten thank-you note speaks volumes simply as a medium and sends the message that you care enough to invest yourself personally in acknowledging another.”

In my work as a writer and columnist, one of my greatest pleasures has been the notes I’ve received from readers, some of whom have stayed in contact and who I consider as friends. I have kept all the notes I’ve received during the past 20 years and I take them out every once in awhile and re-read them.

The thank-yous I've received for my writing give me the boost of encouragement I need sometimes when my spirit is lagging. I am grateful for them and the people who wrote them.

One of my greatest regrets is losing the envelope with the return address of a reader who sent me the very meaningful gift of a dishtowel from the Sunrise Café in Ortley Beach. I tore my office, at home and at work, apart looking for it because I wanted to send a thank-you note. I actually lost sleep over it.

Perhaps, she will read this post and know that I absolutely loved the towel and have it hanging in my kitchen. It is especially meaningful now that the café is gone, a victim of Sandy, and we are forced to sell our home in Ortley Beach.

You just never know how much a handwritten note, or seemingly small gift, will mean to someone.

“Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father ... " Ephesians 5:20

Image from apartmenttherapy.com where there's great article on making thank-you notes a fun activity for kids.

'A perfect dose of grace' for all seasons

 This small but powerful book of stories is the perfect read for you when you want to reward yourself with some well-deserved quiet time! Rabbi Irwin Kula, author of “Yearnings: Embracing the Sacred Messiness of Life” wrote, “If you want to find God, know love, and truly understand these are the same, read this beautiful book. But be prepared to have your heart opened up, to laugh and to cry, to take many deep breaths of awe and wonder, and to shout out to the Heavens and to the people in your life, Thank You! Hallelujah! What a perfect dose of grace this book is for people of all backgrounds!"  

You can deliver this book now to your e-reader by visiting Things My Father Taught Me About Love, Kindle edition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Three small, powerful words -- "It is good"

Imagine a scene in the labor and delivery floor of the local hospital. A young wife and her husband have just delivered their first child. They look down with love at the tiny infant wrapped in a small pink blanket. Beaming, the mother says, “Isn’t she just the most mediocre baby you have ever seen?”

 Imagine if the creation story in Genesis read in similar fashion:

 On the third day, God created every kind of plant and fruit and he looked at what he had created and said, “Ehh … so, so.”

 And on the fourth day God created the sun and moon and all the lights in the sky, and he looked at what he had created and said, “Well, this is pretty mediocre.”

Then God saw every thing he had made and said, “Hmmm, I could probably do better, but who’s going to know?” 

Somehow the story would just lose something.

 But, as we should keep in mind, God’s reaction to creation was considerably different. With every new day and every new creation God saw that “it was good.”

 And if we were to give God a 21^st century vocabulary and demeanor, he would cross some very large arms over a similarly large chest, look around with a big grin on his radiant face and pronounce, “This is good! This is DAMN good!”

 Each of us has been endowed by God with the ability to create; to bring something into existence that wasn’t there before through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit working in our hearts, our bodies and our minds. Whether we create an environment of love or hospitality in our homes, build friendships or meaningful moments for others; whether we create with words or music, our voices or our hands, when the work is for God and God's people, we can take our cue from our God, stand back and exclaim, “This is damn good!”

Every community needs a Director of First Impressions

Yesterday, while visiting my sister-in-law who is caring for her mom—a Hospice patient—I heard a   funny, but also disturbing, story about what happened when my sister-in-law called the parish to ask for a priest to come and visit. The conversation went something like this:

“Hello?”  (no introduction)

“Oh ... Hi, is this the Church of the Saints and Angels?”

“No, that’s not what we’re called. We are referred to as Saints and Angels Church.”

“Oh, OK, I’m sorry … umm … but the sign in front of the church says, ‘Church of the Saints and Angels.’ Anyway, I was calling to ask for a priest to come and visit my mom and bring Communion. She hasn’t been able to get to Mass.”

“She hasn’t been to Mass?” (uh oh, disparaging tone is slipping into ‘get thee to confession’ mode!)

“Well, no, she’s 89 years old and under Hospice care. Could I leave a message for one of the priests to…”

“No, you’ll just have to speak to him yourself.” (an abrupt version of ‘I’m really not interested in hearing your story so save it for the priest’)

“What?” (I must be dreaming. What happened to ‘What would Jesus do?’ Maybe I should hang up and try again.)

“Hang on!”

A few seconds later a warm, engaging priest gets on the line, offers to be at the house in half-an-hour and the pastoral nightmare of the earlier conversation fades into a funny story to be told around the dinner table.

In reality, the tone and unprofessional behavior of this particular secretary is all too common in our parishes and schools, stories of which often overshadow the good work of secretaries who instinctively know the power of respect and kindness; to say nothing of the damage done to communities built by evangelization and hospitality.

Maybe it would help if new titles were awarded.

Today, while I was doing some research on how best to create a resume in today’s market, I came across a list of some workplace titles that have emerged during the past few years. My favorite was Director of First Impressions, formerly known as receptionist.

I like it, because it recognizes the importance of those who have a difficult job dealing with the often rude and crude general public, and it emphasizes the critical role of those who answer the phones and emails, build relationships and serve as the voice of a community.

And when that community is formed by disciples of Jesus, the voice should be one of joy, or at the very least, good humor.

Not always easy, to be sure, but curmudgeons are not a good fit for the job.