On the shore at the bay there is a jungle gym area where my daily visits usually include a lesson learned in observing children at play. Yesterday’s lesson was fit for America’s Funniest Home Videos.
A group of seven young children between the ages of two and eight were having a great time climbing the plastic rock stairs, chasing each other up and down the slide, and hiding in the nooks and crannies of an artificial mountain. Squeals of delight echoed loudly, even against the lapping waves and the chatter of parents nearby.
Then, in an instant, chaos reigned. The Ice Cream Man arrived. Like a dog whistle to dogs, the distinctive teeth-grinding chimes of the ice cream truck set this once pleasant, collaborating group of little people into a frenzy. Squeals of delight became pterodactyl–like screeches of desire.
“ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!”
Pushing and shoving ensued as 14 crazed feet jockeyed for a head start to the truck. Parents sprang into action to halt the stampede but not before one limber five year old bolted toward the street well ahead of frantic adults who screamed for him to cease and desist – to no avail. Thank God for parent panic which propelled his father across the sand before tiny feet hit the pavement.
When it was over, and the Ice Cream Man drove away without a sale, several children had collapsed into quivering, sobbing mounds of disappointment. “I want ice cream!! Give me ice cream!!” Parents cajoled, promised, and resorted to dragging limp bodies across the sand to restore order.
Young children are notoriously self-focused. They want what they want when they want it. They have to learn to share, to defer desire, to put others’ needs before their own. Sometimes, we, as adults, are not much different. We may not throw ourselves on the ground and scream when we don’t get what we want (though a few TV shows give evidence to the contrary), but we often go to great lengths to satisfy our wants, sometimes at the expense of others, even those we love.
Famed British poet, Lord Byron, wrote, “We are all selfish and I no more trust myself than others with a good motive.”
Acknowledging our propensity for selfishness, and mustering up the courage to examine our motivations, is a powerful step toward understanding that while “have it your way” may be a great advertising slogan for building sales, it is a poor philosophy for life. For as much as we can be the center of our own universe, we also share in God’s nature, which is love. Where we place our attention and our energy is our choice.
Ultimately, the degree to which we can balance our selfishness with our magnanimity is the degree to which our lives will have meaning and our relationships will be truly loving. That doesn’t mean we can’t run to the ice cream truck once in a while, it just means we shouldn’t push people off the slide to get there.
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